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Not every brunch dawns with the smell of cozy coffee, poached eggs and Napalm. Some Saturdays bring in a breakfast buffet that doesn’t satisfy – where the execution of meal is nearly as disappointing as your last online dinner date.

My apologies, Another Broken Egg by Tinseltown, but you broke 4 wee hearts this weekend when we came in to dish and dine for a girls’ brunch.

Waiting for Good, Though

It began with the wait. There’s an excellent Portlandia episode about how disgruntling and earth-shattering a mushed up brunch can be. But let’s stick with this weekend. We’d heard there was often a wait. We knew lines were a thing. So I tried to download their recommended nowait app. My phone said it was going to charge me, so I phoned a friend to see if she’d download it. It gave her trouble and she had to call the restaurant and they walked her through it. The reservation was made. We had 20 extra minutes to find lipstick and sandals, and the four of us set out.

We bumbled into a tiny waiting area brimming with hungry people eager to break the fast. Despite our app downloading and reservation, we had to wait for at least 30 minutes. Everywhere we stood we were in someone’s way – a waiter’s, a mom’s, the hostess. It was mayhem. Luckily my friend Denise found some intriguing shoes on the passers by to entertain her. My friend Irene eyed a cooing baby and determined today’s menu called for coffee and mimosas, and Mandy and I checked out the menu. By the time we sat down we all had a pretty clear idea of the sweet and salty breakfast items we were craving.

Caffeine Plus Champagne Times Four Best Friends

We made quick decisions. Four coffees and waters. Yes, we will add on a pitcher of strawberry mimosa. The single life has some perks and some of those are sweet pink adult drinks with breakfast. The coffees arrived in adorable mugs. The breakfast had promise! The coffee had very little flavor, so cream and sugars would be a must.

I immediately ordered a breakfast appetizer, which is a fantastic way to feel like a queen. Of all the exorbitant expenditures, snacks before your first meal! But the wait had been long and outbreaks of hanger were quickly approaching.

I was quite pleased with my choice: carne asada tater tots with guacamole and fresh jalapenos. It was cheesy and spicy and meaty and potatoes, and all my favorite things together. Who needs eggs benedict when you can explore the flavors of breakfast and dinner – with salty steak – all at once? Our appetites were whetted and we prepped for the main course.

But Maybe I don’t Hate Them By the Dozen

Sidenote: I went to Another Broken Egg Cafe in Orlando and really enjoyed their food then. As a chain, it’s not the worst idea ever, plus they provide alcohol and some tasty pancake and omelet options. Both times service was fine too…but the meals of my friends did not pass muster. (Wouldn’t pass mustard be more fun?)

Two girls tried the chicken biscuits with gravy and breakfast potatoes. Spoiled by the oozing savory flavors of Metro Diner, Deerwood Diner and Maple Street, these dishes were dull and unthrilling to the morning taste buds (maybe they were distracted by the sizzle of the jalapeno tots?). Denise found the huevos ranchos not nearly as good as what she’d had in Texas, and even the side of salsa couldn’t rescue the dish. I sampled it and recognized my dad had a sauce that really made this version paltry in comparison.

What Happened to My Beignets?!

The crowning moment of the breakfast was the beignets. Now, these were nothing like the Cafe Du Monde special, but they were freshly baked, moist, sweet and covered in powdery sugar. There was a sweet jelly like sauce for dipping, and it was just the ideal counterbalance to my hot taters. My breakfast was pleasing. My bill was not! It was $30 for this delayed piece by piece attempt for a feast. Ok, for me it wasn’t a total tragedy, but the majority rules and the group won’t be returning. The service was pleasant, the restaurant too busy. What IS all the fuss about? And the stawberry mimosa pitcher was not that sweet or interesting (though the juice flutes with strawberry garnishes were adorbs).

Which gets me to thinking… I had 3 extra beignets and left them at Mandy’s. Regrets.

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alannajritchie@gmail.com

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